The New Kid On the Block

I don't think much explanation even needs to go into this post since there's a video, but I'll give you the shortened play by play.

The day we went in for our ultrasound, we knew we were going to turn away when she checked the gender. We wanted to find out together, but not in the doctor's office. We did a gender reveal party for Hallen, so we wanted something special for this little bundle of joy too. The ultrasound tech sweetly put the gender photos in a sealed envelope for us so we could still have them, but wait to look at them until after the reveal...you know...just to be 100% positive!

We ordered a gender reveal lovey from Hudson and Heart Co to open for our big surprise. I thought it'd be fun for Hallen to get involved with too since it was a stuffed animal. Hudson and Heart Co is such an amazing company. Their hearts are truly about giving back. For each gift purchased in their shop, they're able to give a meal to a child in need. I love supporting shops with such a heart felt mission, and I like knowing that my money isn't just going into some big corporation.

So, the lovey arrived two days after our ultrasound. Once that box was there, it was go time in my head. I called Kevin to see when he was coming home, and when we could make this happen! I wanted to rip into that box and see what cute animal was hiding in there! Once I told Kevin the package had arrived, he immediately left work so we could get this party started.

Once he got home, there was no putzing around. He hopped in the shower, we gathered everything up that we needed, and headed out. Our friends met us nearby to take photos and a video (super sweet of them...we were just going to put the camera on a tripod and hope for it not to come out blurry)! Once everyone was there and had eaten their Chick-Fil-A, it was go time. My gut feeling was a girl and Kevin's (along with everyone else) was a boy. It was so exciting to have the answer just moments away.

  A larger version can be found here.

We are so thrilled to announce we'll be having another little girl this February. It seems surreal still that we'll be raising sisters soon. I hope they become best friends. My heart could explode with joy right now. God is so good.

Cardigan: Mila Chic Boutique Leggings: Blanqi Tunic: Shop K La Hallen's Flares: Happy Shombey Shoes: Lili Collection Shoes Headband: Daddy Said Yes Boutique Lovie: Hudson and Heart Co.

Four Months Young & Loving Life

Just finished up with our four month shots, and Hallen was a trooper. She's still sleeping them off three hours later. I think I'll just let her sleep as long as possible, because our two month shots were no walk in the park. And yes, I said "our." I never truly knew the meaning of "it hurts me more than you," until those two month shots.  She cried, I cried. She screamed, I held my scream in so I wouldn't frighten her. She needed to be cuddled all day long, so that's what we did. I'm hoping this time around she won't hurt quite so much. {ie: I hope she's not in so much pain, so I don't bawl all day long.} I've got the Tylenol ready for her, though...and the vino for moi!

 


I feel like these four months have flown by! Every day there is something new I watch her do, and we celebrate it all. There are definitely more good days than bad (I actually think her two month shots were the only bad day we've had), but I know those tough days are going to come. Having your heart outside of your body is some emotionally tough stuff, though! Just imagining heart break she'll go through one day or perhaps a broken arm just makes me want to take the blow for her to keep her in an innocent bubble. In my logical mind I know she needs to endure these tough things, though, so she can have her own faith and her own story. She needs to understand what true compassion is, what true love and hurt is, and most importantly what it mean to have a relationship with our Father. This is truly intimidating as a parent! One day, I need to sit down and just write thank you cards to all the moms and grandmothers and fathers and grandfathers who have raised children. Love has never been more apparent (hmm...parent is even in the word apparent...interesting).

I'm now 11.5 lbs and 23.5 inches long! A tiny and happy little peanut!

Hallen has truly always been a pretty chill baby. Since she came out of the womb she's wanted to sleep and stare at someone more than anything else. She's content. She's a lover of the present moment (something I'm learning from her how to do myself). Since about eight weeks she was sleeping through the night, and now at four months she sleeps 12-13 hours at night. The worst thing this beautiful babe does is drool buckets...and I mean buckets! I've joked about strapping one to her chin so we don't have to use ugly bibs or change her outfit when her whole shirt looks like she fell in the tub! We have created a little jingle using her name and whenever we sing it her eyes light up. She knows it's playtime or lovey time.

Hallen Amélie. Hallen Amélie. Hallen Amélie is a  {insert word}  baby! 

I know it'll only last so long, but it really is an amazing feeling to be the coolest person in her life right now. I mean...I figure this is the top of the "cool chain" for me, right? I was never cool in middle school or high school. But now that I have a baby, everything I do, makes her laugh and wiggle with glee! Pretty soon it'll be embarrassing and I'll be back at the bottom of the "cool chain", but seeing her tiny body squirm in excitement to see me or hear my voice brings tears of joy to my eyes (and I secretly give myself a high five for being the cool mom).

At four months, she also loves to interact with other people. She's never had a problem with anyone in the past, but now she can "chit chat" with them and giggle at them. She takes in all the different features of everyone who holds her. She especially loves watching your eyes and lips. As a mom, I adore watching her watch you. So, if you're holding her and see me staring at you, I'm not being creepy. I promise! I hope she stays open to being held and loved on by others.

 

Happy four months to this little peanut of a miracle. I guess you could even say that she's our
"mustard seed of faith" the Lord gave us to not give up hope; to keep the faith. She's a constant reminder of His everlasting, never failing, forever merciful, perfect love. My prayer is that this little girl has that type of faith one day.

“You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.” Matthew 17:20

Learning Curve

Being a mother has been so much more than I thought it was going to be. I knew I always wanted to be a mother...to many children. I knew it would fulfill some part of my being. I knew it was a calling for me. I didn't know that I'd learn so much about myself during the process of motherhood (it is a process. Believe me. It doesn't just happen over night)!

For one, I love writing on this blog and yet I haven't written anything in two months!! I have several drafts going about different projects we (well...my handy husband) have done around the house, cloth diaper comparisons, what's happening in life now that Hallen isn't a newborn, etc. I really need to find a rhythm for my life again. Hallen definitely has one with her sleep, play time, and when she eats, but I don't really have a set routine on what to do when she's asleep. I have yet to outline a schedule for my time. This seriously needs to happen. Dust bunnies accumulate faster than snow in Minnesota, dishes pile up higher than Dolly Parton's hair, and my ideas are left to sit in limbo just hoping my fingers will type one day. I do actually achieve things during my day, but I'm still left wondering why I don't do the things I really want to do.

Second, being a mother has showed me how much selfishness I still have inside of me! Getting married and seeing what a "gem" I was was no easy feat. It took time, communication, letting go of expectations I didn't even know I had, and sacrifice. It also took a lot of wine and coffee, but we eventually figured each other out (ish...enough to love each other and still keep sane). Having a baby was just another dose of having a mirror shoved to my nose to take a closer look inside at what was really going on and what selfish desires were still manifesting. It's a great wake up call actually! It's a totally different kind of love than what you have for your partner, so naturally it should bring these emotions back up in a different way. I had been told this would happen. I just wasn't sure how it would resurface. Just when I thought I was living less selfishly than my single days, throw a baby in there and I could see I was still living for myself, just in a different way.

Looking into eyes that Kevin & I created opened my eyes to things I needed to let go of and move down the ladder.What truly matters in life is shown to me every day just a little more.

Third, I'm one of those moms. You know...those moms that take 30+ pictures of their kids a day (modern day, social media type of moms) and want the whole world to see, because I don't think the world should have to live a day without a dose of Hallen Amélie. I mean...she's the cutest baby alive and no other baby does what she can, right? I digress. I definitely wear the mom lenses in life these days. I'm okay with that, though. I've come to peace with talking like a baby in public, poop being my subject of choice, singing about obscene, off the wall topics, rocking the mom bun daily, and dressing my little girl better than me. (She needed Ugg booties. Her wittle toesies were fuuuhhhhweezing!!) And one day, I know I'll do what I said I never would...wear matching outfits...probably at Disney World while wearing a fashionable fanny pack. 

You mean to tell me other babies can look this cute on a yellow rug?? No. No. Don't believe it!

Seriously? More pictures?

Becoming a mother has been the most rewarding position I've ever been given. I hope to never take it for granted, live moment by moment not wishing for the next milestone, and to relish in all the ironic and embarrassing parts of motherhood!

Two Years of Praying Looks Like This

I should have written this by now. I really have had the time, but I've been on maternity leave, right?

8 weeks ago today was one of the biggest miracles I've witnessed in my entire life. The gift and miracle of life. It's always seemed like such a cliche saying - "the miracle of life." Now, I truly understand that not so corny saying.

Our Hallen Amélie is such a miracle. I won't rehash my other posts, but she was prayed for by many people over the past couple of years and here she is. It was November 17 at 11:12 pm that she came into our lives. Two and a half weeks early. Perfect timing (according to any woman in their third trimester. 40 weeks seems like an eternity away that last month). 

So, here's the birth story. One of the most painful but blissful and intimate experiences I've ever been part of and feel blessed to have a great birthing story. It started early Sunday morning with pre-labor contractions. Kevin and I packed the hospital bags around 3:30am just in case we needed to leave. The contractions never amounted to anything much, so we fell back asleep. Contractions continued throughout Sunday, but didn't feel much more painful than a Braxton Hicks. Went to bed Sunday night and woke up Monday morning to nothing. I was a little let down thinking I would still be having contractions and having the baby early! So, I went to work and taught my Monday morning Barre class, worked out, and then went grocery shopping. Then, all of a sudden, they started back up! And a little more painful this time around.

I still didn't know if this was labor or not being that this was my first baby and not quite knowing what contractions felt like. I called my mom and was texting my sister-in-law. Both were convinced I was in labor and needed to call the midwife. So, I quickly called Kevin and told him we needed to go to the hospital. He came home about an hour later and we rushed up to St. Joseph's. Sadly, I was only dilated to 3 cm when I arrived in triage, but she was at a +2 station. Although not very dilated, I was in labor! The nurses told us we could stay and wait it out or we could leave and go walk around somewhere. We chose to leave and go shopping! Not really...but we did go to the Towson Mall for two hours to walk around. Every few minutes I'd have to stop where ever we were and sway back and forth. I'm sure people were thinking I needed to head to the hospital soon! 

After two hours of "shopping" we headed back to triage. I was only 4-5 cm dilated. Thinking it'd take all night and part of the morning, I was kind of depressed and a little mad that my body wasn't speeding things up! 

We stayed in triage for about two hours, because we wanted a room with the birthing tub in it. It was a tough two hours. Once I got to the room, my midwife checked my progress and I was still only 5 cm. I almost broke down and started crying. These contractions hurt! How could they not be making me dilate more? So, to the halls we went. Walking and walking...well, trying to walk. I eventually needed to sit, but right before that happened I got sick and apologized to my mother-in-law for almost throwing up on her and the nurses for throwing up on the floor.  I couldn't walk anymore. I had to lay down. For thirty minutes Kevin helped me relax by putting counter pressure on my back and helping me focus on who we were going to be holding soon. During these contractions, I totally understood why epidurals were created! It was unbearable pain! But, I also remembered the natural birth we wanted. About this time, I stated pushing. After two pushes I figured I should tell someone what I was doing It just came so naturally at first, I didn't think twice about voicing it. The midwife came in and checked, although all the nurses said I probably shouldn't since I was at 5 cm two hours earlier. Sure enough, though, I was 10 cm! The midwife broke my water and my urge to push was so overwhelming I let out my one and only loud wail.

Kevin, being the super sweet, endearing, loving husband that he is kept asking if I wanted to get into the tub. He was prepped and ready in his swim trunks! All I could do was obnoxiosly grunt, "Noooo...I just want it out!!" I kind of felt bad for him...standing there with his sweet, wide eyed face, shirtless, in swim trunks in the midst of all these nurses. Ten minutes of pushing and our Hallen entered the world. Kevin caught her, cut the cord, and we both fell in love harder than ever before. Our miracle was here. As Kevin said, " this is what two years of praying looks like."  And that couldn't be more true. 

6lbs 11oz, 18 3/4in long

I guess he put his shirt back on at one point...

On the way home

Touch of Pink

The nursery is finally done...I think :) There are always final touches that could be made, but all in all, we're ready for this chick (on the planning side of things).  And I have to say, I absolutely LOVE just going to sit in there. It relaxes my mind and just calms me as funny as that sounds. The "touch of pink" on the walls is enough for my anxious thoughts to scatter and my mind can enter a tranquil place. I can envision the giggles, late night nursing, and rocking to soothe our baby's tears. I know the nights won't always be as calm in that room as they are now, so I'm savoring these last few weeks and meditating on the sweetness to come.

We were very fortunate to get  hand-me-downs for all the furniture in the room except the rocker. My parents gifted us that soft chair for our baby shower. It's probably my favorite part of the whole room and the reason I'm able to relax :)

Still a little cluttered, but this is baby H's nursery.

We received the monogram from one of my best friends at our baby shower. Up close, the monogram just looks like a lot of curly-cues. It was ordered in natural wood, so we could paint if what ever color we wanted. Of course I wanted it gold to go with the color theme. It was super easy and required no thought at all.

I bought a "brilliant gold" spray paint by Design Master from Michael's and went to town. I sprayed three coats just to make sure it all was coated evenly. While I had the spray paint out, I also decided to spray one frame on the wall the same "brilliant gold."

Beautiful monogram from Strickland. They did a beautiful job. Great prices too!

Tassels and "Pray Big" pillow from my sister-in-law Kelly. Beautiful monogram from one of my best friends. And crocheted blanket from our baby shower made my some special hands!

White turned gold frame.

I was so excited with how the gold came out. Spray paints are always so difficult for me to pick out. There are so many shades of each color, and they start to run together after staring at the case for 20 minutes trying to decide between three colors. Luckily, the crafty people at Michael's helped make the decision when I shared my vision of gold! 

This frame went above the changing table along with a few more frames. This oval frame is still empty. Waiting upon the arrival of baby H. My thoughts right now are leaning towards a sweet daddy/baby photo or footprints and handprints. If you have any cute ideas, let me know in the comments. As mentioned above with the gold spray paint, sometimes it's nice to have a third party make my decision! 

Please disregard the glare in these photos. The room doesn't have a a good time of day for taking pictures and not having a glare in the glass. The photos, left to right, clockwise: 

• Cross stitched photo of a child praying that my mom made for me when I was born. She brought it by surprise on her last visit. The colors were perfect for the room, but even if they weren't, it had to go up.
• Gold "Love" photo from Homegoods
• "You are My Sunshine" wooden photo from my sister-in-law, Kelly.
• White and light pink frame from my baby shower with a sample of Anthropologie's wall paper I received for free about a year ago.
• Antique gold frame with a maternity photo my sister-in-law, Kelly, snapped for our baby shower.
• Center frame is the gold spray painted frame that something special will go in after baby H is born. 

I'm really happy with how this turned out. I love photo collages on walls. I'm actually still working on one in our den. It's been incomplete for probably 6 months now. (Don't judge! Baby fever swept over me.)

 This is a panoramic of the complete nursery. Back in the left corner is the carseat, diaper pail, a big cloth toy basket, and my hospital bag (which is only packed with the baby's clothes right now).  In the right corner is a little nightstand with our baby monitor and another little toy box on top. Right now, the nightstand is also our little library. Hopefully, we'll be able to find a little bookshelf for under one of the windows eventually. All this to say, there is still some clutter left in the room, but it'll go away very soon!

There's one thing I may still change about the walls. The starburst mirror on the right may come down and be replaced with something else. Possibly the tassels hanging on the crib (they won't stay there anyways). Again, suggestions would be great! We also are still in the process of looking for a little chandelier for the room. I'm not sold on the two lamps in the corner. For me, it's clutter!

I'll be 34 weeks tomorrow. It feels so close! Six weeks left. Our last Bradley class is this coming Sunday. 12 weeks of the class went by super fast. That means these next six will go by even quicker.

My bump at 33 weeks. Tomorrow 10/23 I'll be 34 weeks!

Playing Catch Up

So these last couple weeks have been pretty busy for our household. We knew we were in for a busy October, but it started a few days prior. To start from the beginning, there were four pregnant gals on my side of the family this year. Three of those were due in the first half of October (the 4th is me...and I'm due in December). Two of them are now born. The first one was born at the end of September. Ten days early! It threw us all for a loop. My mom flew up from South Carolina on the first plane out the next morning. Kevin and I went straight to the hospital after church.

This sweet little gal entered our life!

The proud new parents and the most beautiful baby girl.

They got to take her home two days later and started the wild new ride of parenthood. My mom has been between our home and their home for the past two weeks, between the birth of my niece, my baby shower, and my birthday! It's been a crazy first half of October!

Birthday meal with the Williams at the best hibachi, Ginza

My sister-in-law was a trooper, bringing her one week old baby to my baby shower the very next weekend after she was born. My other sister-in-law and our two moms threw me the most amazing baby shower (no pics yet, but I'll update!). My sister-in-law, Kelly, always throws the best parties. I'd trust her to design any party of mine without having to lift a finger myself! Her eye for design is amazing! She even made the color scheme of the shower the color scheme of our nursery (which you will see VERY soon)!

Along with all of these exciting events, our baby girl is growing, growing, growing! We had our last ultrasound. She is still a girl!! Thank goodness...or else we'd have to come up with a completely different nursery scheme and take A LOT of things back to the store (tutus...headbands...everything pink...). BIG relief! It also showed that she was growing right at the normal pace. She was 3 lbs 13 oz that day! Today, I'm officially 32 weeks + 4 days and counting.

We have 2 weeks left in our Bradley birthing class, which is making it seem all the more real. AND...I've definitely dropped. It seems a little early than the "normal time to drop," but I know it happened. One day I was still walking normally, and then the next, my pelvis and lower back were deathly painful.  As weird as it is to say, it's such relief,! I can eat a full meal without being miserable afterwords and my ribs are definitely hurting less (although still pretty painful). The painful pelvis and back only lasted for a day, so that wasn't too big of a deal!

Here are the updates:

Lighting is a bit weird, but that's what you get with a phone sometimes...

Crushing Idols

I know that every single parent out there will say the exact same thing and I've heard it 1,000 times, but pregnancy really does go by in the blink of an eye! I'll be 30 weeks tomorrow and I'm not sure where the past 30 weeks have gone. I just had my midwife appointment today and I was measuring 31 weeks. Little Peanut still has a strong heartbeat and she must have some long legs too!

I'm learning new things about her and what it means to nurture someone else whose life is dependent on mine daily. I guess the few years that we wanted to get pregnant and couldn't, I envied every pregnant belly that I crossed paths with and wondered when it'd be my time and why it couldn't be this very moment! Now, I know that it was because God wanted me to care for the little gal that's growing inside of me right now. And no matter the pain (ahem...the excruciating rib pain), I'll already do anything for her or say no to things I may have once said "yes" to, because her well-being is my number one priority.

And in the midst of caring for this little Peanut everyday and having her on my mind every second, I realize that it's not the big picture. The big picture is still Jesus. It's not that my journey in the valley is over and I'm free from pain and suffering (hellllo labor pains...just kidding...well, partly). The point is that this miracle should be pointing me more and more towards my Creator and some days, regardless of seeing the miracle, I forget that this child is about Him. It's to show me His love, His mercy, His grace, His unfathomable care for me as His child.

I, as a mother-to-be, should imitate His unconditional love for this child He's knitting together in my womb. Of course I'll make mistakes and embarrass the heck out of her at times, but I need my eyes on the bigger picture and not just the miracle. The miracle is ... well... a miracle and an amazing one at that! But, if I take my eyes off of Him and just focus on this miracle, the miracle will become my idol. An idol is something I definitely do not want to show my daughter. I've made too many in my life! She'll make mistakes and make her own, but I need her to see that Jesus is the only one who is precious and worthy enough to be made our idol. My prayer is that my idols fall like the leaves off the trees. Let them wither and be crushed under my foot. This isn't a time I need to be letting idols of everything baby and parenting into my life. It's a time when I need to surrender and call out to God on a daily basis for His help and wisdom.

In 10 weeks, one of my biggest challenges (dare I say the biggest) will enter my life and I need to be on a solid foundation. For myself. For my husband. For our marriage. For our daughter.

                                                                             

And a few pictures to update you guys on this little gal's progress!

Nursery Beginnings

Since finding out about the precious little girl we had coming this December, I immediately started planning for her. The first stop was a couple of cute outfits. The next was obviously her nursery! Her room that she'd grow into. I didn't want it to be overloaded with little girl type decorations that we all see at the big baby stores...you know...butterflies and flowers that smile back at you....caterpillars and forest creatures with high arched eyebrows and giant smiling teeth. That's just not my style! I like elegant, rustic, and chic. And baby Williams' nursery is no exception.

The first thing we did was paint her nursery a sweet peachy pink. It's a super light neutral, but a nice subtle "girl." I had several of my good friends from church come over in the middle of the day and help paint. We were done in two hours! Our Baltimore community is amazing to be a part of.

Next, we needed furniture. Have you seen the prices for furniture in the baby retail stores, though? It's more than we paid for our own furniture. $800 for a crib?? She won't sleep in it long enough to make it worth it. Luckily, we got a really nice Pottery Barn crib for free from another truly generous family in our church community. The crib is  a creamy white, so that's what we wanted out furniture to be as well. Striking up lucky once again, Kevin's parents still had his baby furniture!! How cool is that? Solid furniture that has been kept in nice condition. We went immediately to Home Depot and bought some white spray paint. I'll tell you the truth - I don't loooove painting furniture, so I thought spray painting would be easier. We bought Rustoleum's Antique White and covered all 3 pieces after lightly sanding them down with sanding blocks. (I actually stayed far from the spray paint and just watched the hubs spray away). We both noticed there were a few splotches that probably wouldn't have been there if we painted instead of sprayed, but he evened it out as best as he could with a second coat. 

The beginning with sanding

Drawers up close.

Already in my mask, realizing this is not a good idea for my lungs and the two lungs growing inside of me.

Starting the paint 

Splotchiness after the first coat...kind of nervous at this point!

After spraying the two coats of paint, we took these back to our house to put the sealer on. We sealed the furniture two days later since we had an extra day thanks to Labor Day! We went through 8 cans of white spray paint and two cans of sealer, so it cost about $40 in all. We also bought another can of hammered gold to use on the handles, but didn't use it all.

Second coat done! The vanilla color we were looking for :)

I couldn't wait to put these in baby William's room. I was ready to see the finished look (although it's still far from finished). I also wanted to organize all the cute little clothes we'd gotten for her. Finally, after spraying the drawer pulls, the room looked a slightly more pulled together. 

Tall dresser

Smaller dresser/changing table. Also, the peachy pink wall color!

Hammered gold knobs

Nightstand/Reading corner.

I will definitely show more pictures and how-tos of all of the DIY things we're doing in her sweet little room. The colors of the room are going to be the peachy pink, gold, and a vintage teal. Very girly, but not over the top with butterflies and smiling sunshines! It's something that I'll love walking into every time I rock her to sleep, read her a book, and play games with her. It's also something she can grow into as the next few years go by.