Two Years of Praying Looks Like This

I should have written this by now. I really have had the time, but I've been on maternity leave, right?

8 weeks ago today was one of the biggest miracles I've witnessed in my entire life. The gift and miracle of life. It's always seemed like such a cliche saying - "the miracle of life." Now, I truly understand that not so corny saying.

Our Hallen Amélie is such a miracle. I won't rehash my other posts, but she was prayed for by many people over the past couple of years and here she is. It was November 17 at 11:12 pm that she came into our lives. Two and a half weeks early. Perfect timing (according to any woman in their third trimester. 40 weeks seems like an eternity away that last month). 

So, here's the birth story. One of the most painful but blissful and intimate experiences I've ever been part of and feel blessed to have a great birthing story. It started early Sunday morning with pre-labor contractions. Kevin and I packed the hospital bags around 3:30am just in case we needed to leave. The contractions never amounted to anything much, so we fell back asleep. Contractions continued throughout Sunday, but didn't feel much more painful than a Braxton Hicks. Went to bed Sunday night and woke up Monday morning to nothing. I was a little let down thinking I would still be having contractions and having the baby early! So, I went to work and taught my Monday morning Barre class, worked out, and then went grocery shopping. Then, all of a sudden, they started back up! And a little more painful this time around.

I still didn't know if this was labor or not being that this was my first baby and not quite knowing what contractions felt like. I called my mom and was texting my sister-in-law. Both were convinced I was in labor and needed to call the midwife. So, I quickly called Kevin and told him we needed to go to the hospital. He came home about an hour later and we rushed up to St. Joseph's. Sadly, I was only dilated to 3 cm when I arrived in triage, but she was at a +2 station. Although not very dilated, I was in labor! The nurses told us we could stay and wait it out or we could leave and go walk around somewhere. We chose to leave and go shopping! Not really...but we did go to the Towson Mall for two hours to walk around. Every few minutes I'd have to stop where ever we were and sway back and forth. I'm sure people were thinking I needed to head to the hospital soon! 

After two hours of "shopping" we headed back to triage. I was only 4-5 cm dilated. Thinking it'd take all night and part of the morning, I was kind of depressed and a little mad that my body wasn't speeding things up! 

We stayed in triage for about two hours, because we wanted a room with the birthing tub in it. It was a tough two hours. Once I got to the room, my midwife checked my progress and I was still only 5 cm. I almost broke down and started crying. These contractions hurt! How could they not be making me dilate more? So, to the halls we went. Walking and walking...well, trying to walk. I eventually needed to sit, but right before that happened I got sick and apologized to my mother-in-law for almost throwing up on her and the nurses for throwing up on the floor.  I couldn't walk anymore. I had to lay down. For thirty minutes Kevin helped me relax by putting counter pressure on my back and helping me focus on who we were going to be holding soon. During these contractions, I totally understood why epidurals were created! It was unbearable pain! But, I also remembered the natural birth we wanted. About this time, I stated pushing. After two pushes I figured I should tell someone what I was doing It just came so naturally at first, I didn't think twice about voicing it. The midwife came in and checked, although all the nurses said I probably shouldn't since I was at 5 cm two hours earlier. Sure enough, though, I was 10 cm! The midwife broke my water and my urge to push was so overwhelming I let out my one and only loud wail.

Kevin, being the super sweet, endearing, loving husband that he is kept asking if I wanted to get into the tub. He was prepped and ready in his swim trunks! All I could do was obnoxiosly grunt, "Noooo...I just want it out!!" I kind of felt bad for him...standing there with his sweet, wide eyed face, shirtless, in swim trunks in the midst of all these nurses. Ten minutes of pushing and our Hallen entered the world. Kevin caught her, cut the cord, and we both fell in love harder than ever before. Our miracle was here. As Kevin said, " this is what two years of praying looks like."  And that couldn't be more true. 

6lbs 11oz, 18 3/4in long

I guess he put his shirt back on at one point...

On the way home

It's All About the Fluff. No 'Sposies.

Kevin and I are far from the greenest people on the block. But one of the many discussions we've had since getting pregnant is whether or not to use cloth diapers. We researched a little bit in the beginning, but one or two days of searching for answers and that was that. There was a lot of info out there and it seemed so confusing! A few months later, I started registering and we decided we'd just go with disposables (or sposies for all you cloth diaper mommas out there). We received one package of diapers at our shower, and I just thought about all the diapers we'd have to buy after that, because that one tiny box wouldn't last a week! After that, I decided to do a little more research to compare costs, efficiency, brands, etc. of cloth diapers.

Here are a few great blog posts about the cost analysis. There are so many more out there! Research is your best friend for this.

Squawkfox gives a great pricing analysis from birth to being potty trained. She used 30 months as her timeline (although, who knows how long it'll take to potty train each child).  That was 7,354 diaper changes for 30 months using an average of 8 diaper changes a day (more for a younger child and less for an older). Her price point for disposables was 26 cents per diaper. This costs $2,349! And if you have two children in diapers at once, it's even more!

Her average for buying cloth diapers was $450. It's a nice middle ground. They can cost more or less depending on the system you choose and how addicted you are to the cute prints!

Modbots used a comparison of what it would be like to have 4 children, and that one really is a great eye opener since most of us have more than one child.

So, after much research and talking it out, we decided to go the cloth diapering route. Here's what we have so far.

Newborn set. 12 fitted Kissaluvs, 4 XS Bumgenius, 3 Blissful Booty, 5 S Bumgenius, 2 wool covers, 7 newborn PUL covers

One sized diapers (not complete yet, but will continue stash as she grows.) 13 pocket diapers so far, extra inserts, and one cover

25 prefolds, 12 microfiber & hemp inserts, 3 covers

Our stash was all bought used. We picked up bits and pieces from different moms who had cared for their diapers really well. That's why we have way too many covers, but they were a great deal! I also don't know what will work for her little tush yet, so we're trying all in ones (AIO), prefolds, pocket diapers, all in twos (AI2) , and fitteds.

I'll update with the different diapers when she arrives and how they work for her. So far, this has been such a fun journey. I'm already an addict. Yesterday, I actually bought 4 more newborn diapers, because they were a great deal. One of our local baby stores, Soft and Cozy Baby, is going out of business. They have consignment cloth diapers, and they were all on sale! We bought 4 for just $14!! So, now we actually have 27 newborn diapers. She'll be going through them a lot though :) 

For all of this, we've spent right at $300. That's a great deal. I'd recommend going the used route if this is something you'd like to try, but don't really know where to start or what will work on your baby. You can always resell them, remember, so it's at no loss to you. Plus, less diapers in the landfill and more cash to spare each more are always a plus.

Diaper draw. There are some disposables in there for her first meconium poos!

And for fun, an update on this gal who will be wearing these cute diapers soon!!

Two of my best friends. Can't wait for baby Williams to meet these two

35 weeks. Yes, I know I blend in with the wall. I didn't think that trough before the photo.

36 weeks!

Rule Breaker

My parents would tell that's the story of my life. I would say, I learned it from my dad.  Rules have always been a more of a suggestion than than a demand.  Granted, there are some rules I just won't break. I'm a chicken when it comes close to doing anything interfering with the law (except speed "limits").

Today, I'm not breaking any rules that will land me in jail, though.

All through my pregnancy I've been able to run. I've been blessed to run - even through the first trimester. I never had one second of morning sickness. I didn't feel pregnant until I was more than halfway through this pregnancy. But, sadly, my running is ending at 35 weeks pregnant. My beloved Merrell shoes had a few too many miles on them, but I continued to run. That's just what I do. I push limits. This time, it didn't work out in my favor. My right foot took a beating and I'm pretty sure I have extensor tendonitis. Nothing damaging or serious. I just need a lot of rest and ice. And since baby H dropped around 32 weeks, my pelvis is sore for a day or two after my run. Kevin thinks I walk like a grandma post runs these days. So, with much grievance, I'm laying my shoes to rest until I can continue with exercise after the baby is born.

Back to rule breaking...This whole pregnancy, I've also been able to *gasp* ride my bike...on the streets of Baltimore. And I'm still doing it. Yes, I'm 35 weeks pregnant. Yes, you can judge me. Yes, all the books and blogs tell you not to ride your bike late in your 2nd and 3rd trimester. But you know what...my balance is pretty darn good still. (I can even hold some yoga poses longer than some non preggers.) I actually just came back from a 14 mile bike ride and feel great! I wouldn't do it if I didn't feel comfortable. I'm not trying to harm my body. I just happen to know my body better than anyone else. If I felt uneasy riding on our potholed streets, I wouldn't ride my bike.

I've also taken a "warm yoga" class. It's not quite as hot as Bikram. The room is somewhere around 94 or 95 degrees. Taboo. Yes, I know. Again, I was listening to my body. I asked my teacher ahead of time if it would offend him if I walked out. While I took the class, I chose to rest during some things I knew I couldn't do. I modified all the twists. I drank my entire water bottle. I also did some pretty great balance poses (at least for someone who is 35 weeks ).

While I'm not condoning everyone to go out and do things against the books, I would say listen to your body. You know what feels good. You know what hurts and what makes you feel uncomfortable. I'm sad to have to give up running at this point, but I'm okay knowing I still have other options. I'll continue with my bike riding, warm yoga, Barre, and cross training machines. All of these things feel really good.

Are you a rule breaker or rule follower? I've broken many other unwritten pregnancy rules, but I'm not divulging all of my secrets right now!

And here's the latest picture. It was just taken Monday, so a few days late! I can't believe I'm 35 weeks today :) 5 more to go!

Touch of Pink

The nursery is finally done...I think :) There are always final touches that could be made, but all in all, we're ready for this chick (on the planning side of things).  And I have to say, I absolutely LOVE just going to sit in there. It relaxes my mind and just calms me as funny as that sounds. The "touch of pink" on the walls is enough for my anxious thoughts to scatter and my mind can enter a tranquil place. I can envision the giggles, late night nursing, and rocking to soothe our baby's tears. I know the nights won't always be as calm in that room as they are now, so I'm savoring these last few weeks and meditating on the sweetness to come.

We were very fortunate to get  hand-me-downs for all the furniture in the room except the rocker. My parents gifted us that soft chair for our baby shower. It's probably my favorite part of the whole room and the reason I'm able to relax :)

Still a little cluttered, but this is baby H's nursery.

We received the monogram from one of my best friends at our baby shower. Up close, the monogram just looks like a lot of curly-cues. It was ordered in natural wood, so we could paint if what ever color we wanted. Of course I wanted it gold to go with the color theme. It was super easy and required no thought at all.

I bought a "brilliant gold" spray paint by Design Master from Michael's and went to town. I sprayed three coats just to make sure it all was coated evenly. While I had the spray paint out, I also decided to spray one frame on the wall the same "brilliant gold."

Beautiful monogram from Strickland. They did a beautiful job. Great prices too!

Tassels and "Pray Big" pillow from my sister-in-law Kelly. Beautiful monogram from one of my best friends. And crocheted blanket from our baby shower made my some special hands!

White turned gold frame.

I was so excited with how the gold came out. Spray paints are always so difficult for me to pick out. There are so many shades of each color, and they start to run together after staring at the case for 20 minutes trying to decide between three colors. Luckily, the crafty people at Michael's helped make the decision when I shared my vision of gold! 

This frame went above the changing table along with a few more frames. This oval frame is still empty. Waiting upon the arrival of baby H. My thoughts right now are leaning towards a sweet daddy/baby photo or footprints and handprints. If you have any cute ideas, let me know in the comments. As mentioned above with the gold spray paint, sometimes it's nice to have a third party make my decision! 

Please disregard the glare in these photos. The room doesn't have a a good time of day for taking pictures and not having a glare in the glass. The photos, left to right, clockwise: 

• Cross stitched photo of a child praying that my mom made for me when I was born. She brought it by surprise on her last visit. The colors were perfect for the room, but even if they weren't, it had to go up.
• Gold "Love" photo from Homegoods
• "You are My Sunshine" wooden photo from my sister-in-law, Kelly.
• White and light pink frame from my baby shower with a sample of Anthropologie's wall paper I received for free about a year ago.
• Antique gold frame with a maternity photo my sister-in-law, Kelly, snapped for our baby shower.
• Center frame is the gold spray painted frame that something special will go in after baby H is born. 

I'm really happy with how this turned out. I love photo collages on walls. I'm actually still working on one in our den. It's been incomplete for probably 6 months now. (Don't judge! Baby fever swept over me.)

 This is a panoramic of the complete nursery. Back in the left corner is the carseat, diaper pail, a big cloth toy basket, and my hospital bag (which is only packed with the baby's clothes right now).  In the right corner is a little nightstand with our baby monitor and another little toy box on top. Right now, the nightstand is also our little library. Hopefully, we'll be able to find a little bookshelf for under one of the windows eventually. All this to say, there is still some clutter left in the room, but it'll go away very soon!

There's one thing I may still change about the walls. The starburst mirror on the right may come down and be replaced with something else. Possibly the tassels hanging on the crib (they won't stay there anyways). Again, suggestions would be great! We also are still in the process of looking for a little chandelier for the room. I'm not sold on the two lamps in the corner. For me, it's clutter!

I'll be 34 weeks tomorrow. It feels so close! Six weeks left. Our last Bradley class is this coming Sunday. 12 weeks of the class went by super fast. That means these next six will go by even quicker.

My bump at 33 weeks. Tomorrow 10/23 I'll be 34 weeks!

Playing Catch Up

So these last couple weeks have been pretty busy for our household. We knew we were in for a busy October, but it started a few days prior. To start from the beginning, there were four pregnant gals on my side of the family this year. Three of those were due in the first half of October (the 4th is me...and I'm due in December). Two of them are now born. The first one was born at the end of September. Ten days early! It threw us all for a loop. My mom flew up from South Carolina on the first plane out the next morning. Kevin and I went straight to the hospital after church.

This sweet little gal entered our life!

The proud new parents and the most beautiful baby girl.

They got to take her home two days later and started the wild new ride of parenthood. My mom has been between our home and their home for the past two weeks, between the birth of my niece, my baby shower, and my birthday! It's been a crazy first half of October!

Birthday meal with the Williams at the best hibachi, Ginza

My sister-in-law was a trooper, bringing her one week old baby to my baby shower the very next weekend after she was born. My other sister-in-law and our two moms threw me the most amazing baby shower (no pics yet, but I'll update!). My sister-in-law, Kelly, always throws the best parties. I'd trust her to design any party of mine without having to lift a finger myself! Her eye for design is amazing! She even made the color scheme of the shower the color scheme of our nursery (which you will see VERY soon)!

Along with all of these exciting events, our baby girl is growing, growing, growing! We had our last ultrasound. She is still a girl!! Thank goodness...or else we'd have to come up with a completely different nursery scheme and take A LOT of things back to the store (tutus...headbands...everything pink...). BIG relief! It also showed that she was growing right at the normal pace. She was 3 lbs 13 oz that day! Today, I'm officially 32 weeks + 4 days and counting.

We have 2 weeks left in our Bradley birthing class, which is making it seem all the more real. AND...I've definitely dropped. It seems a little early than the "normal time to drop," but I know it happened. One day I was still walking normally, and then the next, my pelvis and lower back were deathly painful.  As weird as it is to say, it's such relief,! I can eat a full meal without being miserable afterwords and my ribs are definitely hurting less (although still pretty painful). The painful pelvis and back only lasted for a day, so that wasn't too big of a deal!

Here are the updates:

Lighting is a bit weird, but that's what you get with a phone sometimes...

Crushing Idols

I know that every single parent out there will say the exact same thing and I've heard it 1,000 times, but pregnancy really does go by in the blink of an eye! I'll be 30 weeks tomorrow and I'm not sure where the past 30 weeks have gone. I just had my midwife appointment today and I was measuring 31 weeks. Little Peanut still has a strong heartbeat and she must have some long legs too!

I'm learning new things about her and what it means to nurture someone else whose life is dependent on mine daily. I guess the few years that we wanted to get pregnant and couldn't, I envied every pregnant belly that I crossed paths with and wondered when it'd be my time and why it couldn't be this very moment! Now, I know that it was because God wanted me to care for the little gal that's growing inside of me right now. And no matter the pain (ahem...the excruciating rib pain), I'll already do anything for her or say no to things I may have once said "yes" to, because her well-being is my number one priority.

And in the midst of caring for this little Peanut everyday and having her on my mind every second, I realize that it's not the big picture. The big picture is still Jesus. It's not that my journey in the valley is over and I'm free from pain and suffering (hellllo labor pains...just kidding...well, partly). The point is that this miracle should be pointing me more and more towards my Creator and some days, regardless of seeing the miracle, I forget that this child is about Him. It's to show me His love, His mercy, His grace, His unfathomable care for me as His child.

I, as a mother-to-be, should imitate His unconditional love for this child He's knitting together in my womb. Of course I'll make mistakes and embarrass the heck out of her at times, but I need my eyes on the bigger picture and not just the miracle. The miracle is ... well... a miracle and an amazing one at that! But, if I take my eyes off of Him and just focus on this miracle, the miracle will become my idol. An idol is something I definitely do not want to show my daughter. I've made too many in my life! She'll make mistakes and make her own, but I need her to see that Jesus is the only one who is precious and worthy enough to be made our idol. My prayer is that my idols fall like the leaves off the trees. Let them wither and be crushed under my foot. This isn't a time I need to be letting idols of everything baby and parenting into my life. It's a time when I need to surrender and call out to God on a daily basis for His help and wisdom.

In 10 weeks, one of my biggest challenges (dare I say the biggest) will enter my life and I need to be on a solid foundation. For myself. For my husband. For our marriage. For our daughter.

                                                                             

And a few pictures to update you guys on this little gal's progress!

Nursery Beginnings

Since finding out about the precious little girl we had coming this December, I immediately started planning for her. The first stop was a couple of cute outfits. The next was obviously her nursery! Her room that she'd grow into. I didn't want it to be overloaded with little girl type decorations that we all see at the big baby stores...you know...butterflies and flowers that smile back at you....caterpillars and forest creatures with high arched eyebrows and giant smiling teeth. That's just not my style! I like elegant, rustic, and chic. And baby Williams' nursery is no exception.

The first thing we did was paint her nursery a sweet peachy pink. It's a super light neutral, but a nice subtle "girl." I had several of my good friends from church come over in the middle of the day and help paint. We were done in two hours! Our Baltimore community is amazing to be a part of.

Next, we needed furniture. Have you seen the prices for furniture in the baby retail stores, though? It's more than we paid for our own furniture. $800 for a crib?? She won't sleep in it long enough to make it worth it. Luckily, we got a really nice Pottery Barn crib for free from another truly generous family in our church community. The crib is  a creamy white, so that's what we wanted out furniture to be as well. Striking up lucky once again, Kevin's parents still had his baby furniture!! How cool is that? Solid furniture that has been kept in nice condition. We went immediately to Home Depot and bought some white spray paint. I'll tell you the truth - I don't loooove painting furniture, so I thought spray painting would be easier. We bought Rustoleum's Antique White and covered all 3 pieces after lightly sanding them down with sanding blocks. (I actually stayed far from the spray paint and just watched the hubs spray away). We both noticed there were a few splotches that probably wouldn't have been there if we painted instead of sprayed, but he evened it out as best as he could with a second coat. 

The beginning with sanding

Drawers up close.

Already in my mask, realizing this is not a good idea for my lungs and the two lungs growing inside of me.

Starting the paint 

Splotchiness after the first coat...kind of nervous at this point!

After spraying the two coats of paint, we took these back to our house to put the sealer on. We sealed the furniture two days later since we had an extra day thanks to Labor Day! We went through 8 cans of white spray paint and two cans of sealer, so it cost about $40 in all. We also bought another can of hammered gold to use on the handles, but didn't use it all.

Second coat done! The vanilla color we were looking for :)

I couldn't wait to put these in baby William's room. I was ready to see the finished look (although it's still far from finished). I also wanted to organize all the cute little clothes we'd gotten for her. Finally, after spraying the drawer pulls, the room looked a slightly more pulled together. 

Tall dresser

Smaller dresser/changing table. Also, the peachy pink wall color!

Hammered gold knobs

Nightstand/Reading corner.

I will definitely show more pictures and how-tos of all of the DIY things we're doing in her sweet little room. The colors of the room are going to be the peachy pink, gold, and a vintage teal. Very girly, but not over the top with butterflies and smiling sunshines! It's something that I'll love walking into every time I rock her to sleep, read her a book, and play games with her. It's also something she can grow into as the next few years go by.