#Twinsies for Father's Day

A couple days late in the game, yes, but I figured you could at least stick this in your pocket (or bookmarks tab) for next year or use it for a cute birthday idea.

I looked through lots of Etsy stores for matching father daughter bowties and bows. There wasn't anything that I could find! There were of course matching bowties for dads and sons, which are adorable, but not what I wanted. So, I started out on a DIY adventure...

I looked high and low for a tutorial on headbands and bowties for a daddy daughter matching day, but again there weren't any, so the next best thing was just to look at two tutorials separately. Come to find out, you make them the exact same way ( at last for the easier no sew option).

Bowtie on the left and headband on the right.

I could show you step by step on what I did to make both the headband and bowtie, but there are already so many great tutorials:

Here and Here

I attached elastic to both the bowtie and the headband, but I think a clip on the bowtie would actually be better. There is a smaller elastic on the bowtie, because it was going to be hidden under a collar and a fancier one for Hallen's headband.

Bowtie

Headband

They haven't officially worn their twinning accessories out yet, but they were kind enough to model how adorable they both looked for Kevin's first Father's Day.

I also bought them daddy daughter Pura Vida bracelets.  They have the most adorable baby bracelets! I ended up buying the new gray anchor bracelet for Kevin and "wish you were here" bracelet for Hallen. They don't match, but it's the thought :) )and Pura Vida bracelets provide jobs for people in Costa Rica). I wanted everything to be cutesy for his first Father's Day.

So, I hope this is a little inspiration for next year if you do have a little girl. She can still match her daddy. If you have boys as well, go ahead and make an extra bowtie!

The outtakes of a dad and his smallest main squeeze doing what they love most.

Four Months Young & Loving Life

Just finished up with our four month shots, and Hallen was a trooper. She's still sleeping them off three hours later. I think I'll just let her sleep as long as possible, because our two month shots were no walk in the park. And yes, I said "our." I never truly knew the meaning of "it hurts me more than you," until those two month shots.  She cried, I cried. She screamed, I held my scream in so I wouldn't frighten her. She needed to be cuddled all day long, so that's what we did. I'm hoping this time around she won't hurt quite so much. {ie: I hope she's not in so much pain, so I don't bawl all day long.} I've got the Tylenol ready for her, though...and the vino for moi!

 


I feel like these four months have flown by! Every day there is something new I watch her do, and we celebrate it all. There are definitely more good days than bad (I actually think her two month shots were the only bad day we've had), but I know those tough days are going to come. Having your heart outside of your body is some emotionally tough stuff, though! Just imagining heart break she'll go through one day or perhaps a broken arm just makes me want to take the blow for her to keep her in an innocent bubble. In my logical mind I know she needs to endure these tough things, though, so she can have her own faith and her own story. She needs to understand what true compassion is, what true love and hurt is, and most importantly what it mean to have a relationship with our Father. This is truly intimidating as a parent! One day, I need to sit down and just write thank you cards to all the moms and grandmothers and fathers and grandfathers who have raised children. Love has never been more apparent (hmm...parent is even in the word apparent...interesting).

I'm now 11.5 lbs and 23.5 inches long! A tiny and happy little peanut!

Hallen has truly always been a pretty chill baby. Since she came out of the womb she's wanted to sleep and stare at someone more than anything else. She's content. She's a lover of the present moment (something I'm learning from her how to do myself). Since about eight weeks she was sleeping through the night, and now at four months she sleeps 12-13 hours at night. The worst thing this beautiful babe does is drool buckets...and I mean buckets! I've joked about strapping one to her chin so we don't have to use ugly bibs or change her outfit when her whole shirt looks like she fell in the tub! We have created a little jingle using her name and whenever we sing it her eyes light up. She knows it's playtime or lovey time.

Hallen Amélie. Hallen Amélie. Hallen Amélie is a  {insert word}  baby! 

I know it'll only last so long, but it really is an amazing feeling to be the coolest person in her life right now. I mean...I figure this is the top of the "cool chain" for me, right? I was never cool in middle school or high school. But now that I have a baby, everything I do, makes her laugh and wiggle with glee! Pretty soon it'll be embarrassing and I'll be back at the bottom of the "cool chain", but seeing her tiny body squirm in excitement to see me or hear my voice brings tears of joy to my eyes (and I secretly give myself a high five for being the cool mom).

At four months, she also loves to interact with other people. She's never had a problem with anyone in the past, but now she can "chit chat" with them and giggle at them. She takes in all the different features of everyone who holds her. She especially loves watching your eyes and lips. As a mom, I adore watching her watch you. So, if you're holding her and see me staring at you, I'm not being creepy. I promise! I hope she stays open to being held and loved on by others.

 

Happy four months to this little peanut of a miracle. I guess you could even say that she's our
"mustard seed of faith" the Lord gave us to not give up hope; to keep the faith. She's a constant reminder of His everlasting, never failing, forever merciful, perfect love. My prayer is that this little girl has that type of faith one day.

“You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.” Matthew 17:20

Learning Curve

Being a mother has been so much more than I thought it was going to be. I knew I always wanted to be a mother...to many children. I knew it would fulfill some part of my being. I knew it was a calling for me. I didn't know that I'd learn so much about myself during the process of motherhood (it is a process. Believe me. It doesn't just happen over night)!

For one, I love writing on this blog and yet I haven't written anything in two months!! I have several drafts going about different projects we (well...my handy husband) have done around the house, cloth diaper comparisons, what's happening in life now that Hallen isn't a newborn, etc. I really need to find a rhythm for my life again. Hallen definitely has one with her sleep, play time, and when she eats, but I don't really have a set routine on what to do when she's asleep. I have yet to outline a schedule for my time. This seriously needs to happen. Dust bunnies accumulate faster than snow in Minnesota, dishes pile up higher than Dolly Parton's hair, and my ideas are left to sit in limbo just hoping my fingers will type one day. I do actually achieve things during my day, but I'm still left wondering why I don't do the things I really want to do.

Second, being a mother has showed me how much selfishness I still have inside of me! Getting married and seeing what a "gem" I was was no easy feat. It took time, communication, letting go of expectations I didn't even know I had, and sacrifice. It also took a lot of wine and coffee, but we eventually figured each other out (ish...enough to love each other and still keep sane). Having a baby was just another dose of having a mirror shoved to my nose to take a closer look inside at what was really going on and what selfish desires were still manifesting. It's a great wake up call actually! It's a totally different kind of love than what you have for your partner, so naturally it should bring these emotions back up in a different way. I had been told this would happen. I just wasn't sure how it would resurface. Just when I thought I was living less selfishly than my single days, throw a baby in there and I could see I was still living for myself, just in a different way.

Looking into eyes that Kevin & I created opened my eyes to things I needed to let go of and move down the ladder.What truly matters in life is shown to me every day just a little more.

Third, I'm one of those moms. You know...those moms that take 30+ pictures of their kids a day (modern day, social media type of moms) and want the whole world to see, because I don't think the world should have to live a day without a dose of Hallen Amélie. I mean...she's the cutest baby alive and no other baby does what she can, right? I digress. I definitely wear the mom lenses in life these days. I'm okay with that, though. I've come to peace with talking like a baby in public, poop being my subject of choice, singing about obscene, off the wall topics, rocking the mom bun daily, and dressing my little girl better than me. (She needed Ugg booties. Her wittle toesies were fuuuhhhhweezing!!) And one day, I know I'll do what I said I never would...wear matching outfits...probably at Disney World while wearing a fashionable fanny pack. 

You mean to tell me other babies can look this cute on a yellow rug?? No. No. Don't believe it!

Seriously? More pictures?

Becoming a mother has been the most rewarding position I've ever been given. I hope to never take it for granted, live moment by moment not wishing for the next milestone, and to relish in all the ironic and embarrassing parts of motherhood!

Two Years of Praying Looks Like This

I should have written this by now. I really have had the time, but I've been on maternity leave, right?

8 weeks ago today was one of the biggest miracles I've witnessed in my entire life. The gift and miracle of life. It's always seemed like such a cliche saying - "the miracle of life." Now, I truly understand that not so corny saying.

Our Hallen Amélie is such a miracle. I won't rehash my other posts, but she was prayed for by many people over the past couple of years and here she is. It was November 17 at 11:12 pm that she came into our lives. Two and a half weeks early. Perfect timing (according to any woman in their third trimester. 40 weeks seems like an eternity away that last month). 

So, here's the birth story. One of the most painful but blissful and intimate experiences I've ever been part of and feel blessed to have a great birthing story. It started early Sunday morning with pre-labor contractions. Kevin and I packed the hospital bags around 3:30am just in case we needed to leave. The contractions never amounted to anything much, so we fell back asleep. Contractions continued throughout Sunday, but didn't feel much more painful than a Braxton Hicks. Went to bed Sunday night and woke up Monday morning to nothing. I was a little let down thinking I would still be having contractions and having the baby early! So, I went to work and taught my Monday morning Barre class, worked out, and then went grocery shopping. Then, all of a sudden, they started back up! And a little more painful this time around.

I still didn't know if this was labor or not being that this was my first baby and not quite knowing what contractions felt like. I called my mom and was texting my sister-in-law. Both were convinced I was in labor and needed to call the midwife. So, I quickly called Kevin and told him we needed to go to the hospital. He came home about an hour later and we rushed up to St. Joseph's. Sadly, I was only dilated to 3 cm when I arrived in triage, but she was at a +2 station. Although not very dilated, I was in labor! The nurses told us we could stay and wait it out or we could leave and go walk around somewhere. We chose to leave and go shopping! Not really...but we did go to the Towson Mall for two hours to walk around. Every few minutes I'd have to stop where ever we were and sway back and forth. I'm sure people were thinking I needed to head to the hospital soon! 

After two hours of "shopping" we headed back to triage. I was only 4-5 cm dilated. Thinking it'd take all night and part of the morning, I was kind of depressed and a little mad that my body wasn't speeding things up! 

We stayed in triage for about two hours, because we wanted a room with the birthing tub in it. It was a tough two hours. Once I got to the room, my midwife checked my progress and I was still only 5 cm. I almost broke down and started crying. These contractions hurt! How could they not be making me dilate more? So, to the halls we went. Walking and walking...well, trying to walk. I eventually needed to sit, but right before that happened I got sick and apologized to my mother-in-law for almost throwing up on her and the nurses for throwing up on the floor.  I couldn't walk anymore. I had to lay down. For thirty minutes Kevin helped me relax by putting counter pressure on my back and helping me focus on who we were going to be holding soon. During these contractions, I totally understood why epidurals were created! It was unbearable pain! But, I also remembered the natural birth we wanted. About this time, I stated pushing. After two pushes I figured I should tell someone what I was doing It just came so naturally at first, I didn't think twice about voicing it. The midwife came in and checked, although all the nurses said I probably shouldn't since I was at 5 cm two hours earlier. Sure enough, though, I was 10 cm! The midwife broke my water and my urge to push was so overwhelming I let out my one and only loud wail.

Kevin, being the super sweet, endearing, loving husband that he is kept asking if I wanted to get into the tub. He was prepped and ready in his swim trunks! All I could do was obnoxiosly grunt, "Noooo...I just want it out!!" I kind of felt bad for him...standing there with his sweet, wide eyed face, shirtless, in swim trunks in the midst of all these nurses. Ten minutes of pushing and our Hallen entered the world. Kevin caught her, cut the cord, and we both fell in love harder than ever before. Our miracle was here. As Kevin said, " this is what two years of praying looks like."  And that couldn't be more true. 

6lbs 11oz, 18 3/4in long

I guess he put his shirt back on at one point...

On the way home

It's All About the Fluff. No 'Sposies.

Kevin and I are far from the greenest people on the block. But one of the many discussions we've had since getting pregnant is whether or not to use cloth diapers. We researched a little bit in the beginning, but one or two days of searching for answers and that was that. There was a lot of info out there and it seemed so confusing! A few months later, I started registering and we decided we'd just go with disposables (or sposies for all you cloth diaper mommas out there). We received one package of diapers at our shower, and I just thought about all the diapers we'd have to buy after that, because that one tiny box wouldn't last a week! After that, I decided to do a little more research to compare costs, efficiency, brands, etc. of cloth diapers.

Here are a few great blog posts about the cost analysis. There are so many more out there! Research is your best friend for this.

Squawkfox gives a great pricing analysis from birth to being potty trained. She used 30 months as her timeline (although, who knows how long it'll take to potty train each child).  That was 7,354 diaper changes for 30 months using an average of 8 diaper changes a day (more for a younger child and less for an older). Her price point for disposables was 26 cents per diaper. This costs $2,349! And if you have two children in diapers at once, it's even more!

Her average for buying cloth diapers was $450. It's a nice middle ground. They can cost more or less depending on the system you choose and how addicted you are to the cute prints!

Modbots used a comparison of what it would be like to have 4 children, and that one really is a great eye opener since most of us have more than one child.

So, after much research and talking it out, we decided to go the cloth diapering route. Here's what we have so far.

Newborn set. 12 fitted Kissaluvs, 4 XS Bumgenius, 3 Blissful Booty, 5 S Bumgenius, 2 wool covers, 7 newborn PUL covers

One sized diapers (not complete yet, but will continue stash as she grows.) 13 pocket diapers so far, extra inserts, and one cover

25 prefolds, 12 microfiber & hemp inserts, 3 covers

Our stash was all bought used. We picked up bits and pieces from different moms who had cared for their diapers really well. That's why we have way too many covers, but they were a great deal! I also don't know what will work for her little tush yet, so we're trying all in ones (AIO), prefolds, pocket diapers, all in twos (AI2) , and fitteds.

I'll update with the different diapers when she arrives and how they work for her. So far, this has been such a fun journey. I'm already an addict. Yesterday, I actually bought 4 more newborn diapers, because they were a great deal. One of our local baby stores, Soft and Cozy Baby, is going out of business. They have consignment cloth diapers, and they were all on sale! We bought 4 for just $14!! So, now we actually have 27 newborn diapers. She'll be going through them a lot though :) 

For all of this, we've spent right at $300. That's a great deal. I'd recommend going the used route if this is something you'd like to try, but don't really know where to start or what will work on your baby. You can always resell them, remember, so it's at no loss to you. Plus, less diapers in the landfill and more cash to spare each more are always a plus.

Diaper draw. There are some disposables in there for her first meconium poos!

And for fun, an update on this gal who will be wearing these cute diapers soon!!

Two of my best friends. Can't wait for baby Williams to meet these two

35 weeks. Yes, I know I blend in with the wall. I didn't think that trough before the photo.

36 weeks!

Rule Breaker

My parents would tell that's the story of my life. I would say, I learned it from my dad.  Rules have always been a more of a suggestion than than a demand.  Granted, there are some rules I just won't break. I'm a chicken when it comes close to doing anything interfering with the law (except speed "limits").

Today, I'm not breaking any rules that will land me in jail, though.

All through my pregnancy I've been able to run. I've been blessed to run - even through the first trimester. I never had one second of morning sickness. I didn't feel pregnant until I was more than halfway through this pregnancy. But, sadly, my running is ending at 35 weeks pregnant. My beloved Merrell shoes had a few too many miles on them, but I continued to run. That's just what I do. I push limits. This time, it didn't work out in my favor. My right foot took a beating and I'm pretty sure I have extensor tendonitis. Nothing damaging or serious. I just need a lot of rest and ice. And since baby H dropped around 32 weeks, my pelvis is sore for a day or two after my run. Kevin thinks I walk like a grandma post runs these days. So, with much grievance, I'm laying my shoes to rest until I can continue with exercise after the baby is born.

Back to rule breaking...This whole pregnancy, I've also been able to *gasp* ride my bike...on the streets of Baltimore. And I'm still doing it. Yes, I'm 35 weeks pregnant. Yes, you can judge me. Yes, all the books and blogs tell you not to ride your bike late in your 2nd and 3rd trimester. But you know what...my balance is pretty darn good still. (I can even hold some yoga poses longer than some non preggers.) I actually just came back from a 14 mile bike ride and feel great! I wouldn't do it if I didn't feel comfortable. I'm not trying to harm my body. I just happen to know my body better than anyone else. If I felt uneasy riding on our potholed streets, I wouldn't ride my bike.

I've also taken a "warm yoga" class. It's not quite as hot as Bikram. The room is somewhere around 94 or 95 degrees. Taboo. Yes, I know. Again, I was listening to my body. I asked my teacher ahead of time if it would offend him if I walked out. While I took the class, I chose to rest during some things I knew I couldn't do. I modified all the twists. I drank my entire water bottle. I also did some pretty great balance poses (at least for someone who is 35 weeks ).

While I'm not condoning everyone to go out and do things against the books, I would say listen to your body. You know what feels good. You know what hurts and what makes you feel uncomfortable. I'm sad to have to give up running at this point, but I'm okay knowing I still have other options. I'll continue with my bike riding, warm yoga, Barre, and cross training machines. All of these things feel really good.

Are you a rule breaker or rule follower? I've broken many other unwritten pregnancy rules, but I'm not divulging all of my secrets right now!

And here's the latest picture. It was just taken Monday, so a few days late! I can't believe I'm 35 weeks today :) 5 more to go!

Touch of Pink

The nursery is finally done...I think :) There are always final touches that could be made, but all in all, we're ready for this chick (on the planning side of things).  And I have to say, I absolutely LOVE just going to sit in there. It relaxes my mind and just calms me as funny as that sounds. The "touch of pink" on the walls is enough for my anxious thoughts to scatter and my mind can enter a tranquil place. I can envision the giggles, late night nursing, and rocking to soothe our baby's tears. I know the nights won't always be as calm in that room as they are now, so I'm savoring these last few weeks and meditating on the sweetness to come.

We were very fortunate to get  hand-me-downs for all the furniture in the room except the rocker. My parents gifted us that soft chair for our baby shower. It's probably my favorite part of the whole room and the reason I'm able to relax :)

Still a little cluttered, but this is baby H's nursery.

We received the monogram from one of my best friends at our baby shower. Up close, the monogram just looks like a lot of curly-cues. It was ordered in natural wood, so we could paint if what ever color we wanted. Of course I wanted it gold to go with the color theme. It was super easy and required no thought at all.

I bought a "brilliant gold" spray paint by Design Master from Michael's and went to town. I sprayed three coats just to make sure it all was coated evenly. While I had the spray paint out, I also decided to spray one frame on the wall the same "brilliant gold."

Beautiful monogram from Strickland. They did a beautiful job. Great prices too!

Tassels and "Pray Big" pillow from my sister-in-law Kelly. Beautiful monogram from one of my best friends. And crocheted blanket from our baby shower made my some special hands!

White turned gold frame.

I was so excited with how the gold came out. Spray paints are always so difficult for me to pick out. There are so many shades of each color, and they start to run together after staring at the case for 20 minutes trying to decide between three colors. Luckily, the crafty people at Michael's helped make the decision when I shared my vision of gold! 

This frame went above the changing table along with a few more frames. This oval frame is still empty. Waiting upon the arrival of baby H. My thoughts right now are leaning towards a sweet daddy/baby photo or footprints and handprints. If you have any cute ideas, let me know in the comments. As mentioned above with the gold spray paint, sometimes it's nice to have a third party make my decision! 

Please disregard the glare in these photos. The room doesn't have a a good time of day for taking pictures and not having a glare in the glass. The photos, left to right, clockwise: 

• Cross stitched photo of a child praying that my mom made for me when I was born. She brought it by surprise on her last visit. The colors were perfect for the room, but even if they weren't, it had to go up.
• Gold "Love" photo from Homegoods
• "You are My Sunshine" wooden photo from my sister-in-law, Kelly.
• White and light pink frame from my baby shower with a sample of Anthropologie's wall paper I received for free about a year ago.
• Antique gold frame with a maternity photo my sister-in-law, Kelly, snapped for our baby shower.
• Center frame is the gold spray painted frame that something special will go in after baby H is born. 

I'm really happy with how this turned out. I love photo collages on walls. I'm actually still working on one in our den. It's been incomplete for probably 6 months now. (Don't judge! Baby fever swept over me.)

 This is a panoramic of the complete nursery. Back in the left corner is the carseat, diaper pail, a big cloth toy basket, and my hospital bag (which is only packed with the baby's clothes right now).  In the right corner is a little nightstand with our baby monitor and another little toy box on top. Right now, the nightstand is also our little library. Hopefully, we'll be able to find a little bookshelf for under one of the windows eventually. All this to say, there is still some clutter left in the room, but it'll go away very soon!

There's one thing I may still change about the walls. The starburst mirror on the right may come down and be replaced with something else. Possibly the tassels hanging on the crib (they won't stay there anyways). Again, suggestions would be great! We also are still in the process of looking for a little chandelier for the room. I'm not sold on the two lamps in the corner. For me, it's clutter!

I'll be 34 weeks tomorrow. It feels so close! Six weeks left. Our last Bradley class is this coming Sunday. 12 weeks of the class went by super fast. That means these next six will go by even quicker.

My bump at 33 weeks. Tomorrow 10/23 I'll be 34 weeks!