Wasted

I've wanted to move back down south for about four years now. That's the entire time I've been married. That's four years of living in a game of tug of war..."I live here, but I want to live THERE!" Four years of not being content. Four years of trying not to settle into my life. Four years of pretending I don't live in Maryland. Four years wasted.

Wasted.

We even own a home here now! And yet, part of me still isn't settled here in Charm City. I've met some of the sweetest, most genuine people I think I'll ever meet this side of Heaven. When I'm with our closest friends, I can sincerely say I have the feeling of "being at home." But when I'm surrounded by my four walls or out on a walk all alone with just the baby and the dog, I feel lonely, uneasy, and anxious. I have this feeling that I need to escape this city.

The more I think about this feeling, this overwhelming desire to flee, the more I realize that moving back to the south probably won't shake this feeling. It may for a few months or even years, but this feeling of not being home is because this earth is my temporary home, and my soul is begging for Heaven...the place where there is no sorrow and pain. There are days when I just have to speak the word "contentment" over and over in my head. I truly desire to to be like Paul in the Bible...content in every situation. Some days, I do find this peace and contentment. I find it when I know I'm truly resting in the LORD and casting my anxieties upon Him. It's so NOT easy for me to do! My human nature screams to be in control and have no one help me (Just ask my husband)! That's a whole other topic though!

When I think about the days wasted being discontent, I automatically get this feeling that something needs to change. I can't spend another four years daydreaming about the greener grass. I have to find joy in the here and now. I have to live out my purpose in this life while waiting for eternity with our sweet Heavenly Father. I'm still breathing for a reason. I am where I am at this very moment for a particular reason. It's not to fulfill my plans and dreams, but to know what His desires and plans are for me and pray that those become my passion and my drive.

Bonnet:Woven November Vest: Leluna Star Jumper: The Baby Bird Boutique Boots: Sweet 'n Swag

As Kevin and I move our little family down south in a few weeks, I pray that we will find what God has in mind for us down there. I pray that we avoid secluding ourselves in a big suburban neighborhood and remember that our neighbors are our neighbors for a reason. We are being relocated to Charlotte for a reason. And no matter where we live, our priority is still to fulfill God's purpose that He had in mind for us before He even created us.

Life Lately

Photos, photos, and more photos. If you've seen me lately, I've probably been holding my camera, standing near my camera, or wishing I had brought my camera with me! Having a baby (the cutest one, at that), has made me dive into a longtime desire of mine to learn more about photography. I want to learn how light works; how to make someone feel a certain emotion by looking at a still frame; capture those tiny, fleeting moments. It's been such a fun process learning a new skill over the past 8 months.
I still have an exorbitant amount of pieces to the puzzle to still put together, but discovering each new piece feels like I'm diving deeper and deeper into who I really am. I can't explain it without sounding like photography has become my religion...because that's definitely not the case. It's like I'm finally doing something with the gifts God gave me years and years ago. He gave me an eye for beauty and a heart that loves to see joy and express that joy in what I do.
I do have plans to start a small photography business-mainly natural lighting photography-mostly babies, maybe some fashion, engagement shoots, or maternity shoots. I desperately want others to have their favorite memories tucked away in their "treasure chest" for years to come. I've realized since becoming a mom that a moment is exactly that. It's a moment, never to happen again. And how special is it to be able to carry a certain memory with you forever, not only in your heart, but in your hands or on your wall?! I would love to be able to follow people for a day just in their normal routine, so that all of those little things you love can be kept in a still frame.
It's been really nice to have a willing subject at my side on a daily basis to practice on! Good thing she isn't camera shy, and will work for cookies so I don't go broke!

All of the photos below were taken on a Canon 7D, 50mm 1.4 lens

Hat: Grace and Grace Co Leg Warmers: Snugars Boots: Gracious May

Dress: Fancy Little Fox Shoes and Purse: Nixons Nook Bow: Ribbies Clippies

Halloween for the Littles

Halloween isn't about haunted houses, scary masks, and trickery for your little babies. It's about big orange pumpkins, dressing in something adorable, and maybe going around door-to-door on Halloween night. If this is your baby's first Halloween, there are so many fun activities you can do that are interactive and fun for them. No candy or choking hazards involved! Engage their senses by getting a little messy and a little imaginative.

Bust out the finger paints (washable, of course). Make some art. Your little one may not know what they're making, but the feeling of paint on their hands and feet will be fun and excite them. Make some ghosts, candy corn, and little Frankensteins. This would be a fun gift to give Grandma and Grandpa, especially if they live far away.

Instructions can be found at Lift With My Littles.

You could even put their footprints on a canvas to hang on the wall to decorate! From Momstown.ca

Pumpkins are fun for every age, and it's the one object that tells us we're nearing Halloween. First, head to the nearest pumpkin patch (or grocery store...I'm not judging) and pick out your favorite pumpkins. That's a fun Halloween activity on it's own that everyone can participate in. If you're lucky, the farm you go to will give you a hay ride around their farm.


Once you bring your pumpkins home, it's time to get creative! Carving pumpkins can be a little dangerous for a baby to dive into, so why not use the same paint as you used for their little footprints to paint pumpkins. You'll have to help steady their hand, and it may be a project that only lasts two minutes, but the point is for them to have a little messy fun! If you have older children, you can include sequins, buttons, stickers, or other crafting materials to put in the paint. If you want to take it even further, you could cut out shapes (like a black cat or witch's hat) to put on their pumpkin!  After everyone is done, you'll have a few "masterpieces" for your mantle or stoop.

More instructions and inspiration at The Imagination Tree.

Another fun, pumpkin inspired project, that's fun for all ages is using a felt pumpkin to decorate as a jack-o-lantern. You can make all sorts of silly faces with this one. The options are endless. Young babies will like the texture of playing with felt and giggling at the faces either you or an older sibling make out of them. The older children will have fun by making lots of jack-o-lantern faces! You could even have a pumpkin "carving" contest this way without the mess or risk of losing a finger!

You can be creative with all of the face pieces with this one! From Two Big Two Little

Another activity that's really easy to do, and still involves the whole family, is to carve pumpkins with your older children (or your significant other). Then, put all the pumpkin goop into a big Ziploc bag for your baby to play with. Little babies love feeling different textures. It's how they learn! So why not let them feel that ooey gooey center of a pumpkin...mess free! (If you can't tell, I'm all about less mess right now since having a one year old involves cleaning up all the time!) Tape it to a window, like Jenae, from I Can't Teach My Child did for her little girl. After your little one is done playing with the pumpkin bag, you could even separate the seeds and toast them.

I Can't Teach My Child

There's so much to do with our little babies. Enjoy watching them experience everything for the first time this Halloween!

Costume Round-Up for Your Little Princess

This year will be Hallen's first Halloween. We don't do many decorations, because it's not really our thing. However, I do LOVE to see little people coming to my door dressed in something that their imagination created. It makes my heart happy! So, I'm just guessing that everyone else's heart also does the happy dance when miniature heroes and princesses ring your doorbell and ask for candy (in the trick-or-treat fashion, of course).

I've been looking at so many things that she could be for Halloween. I want it to be something creative, because I know one day that she'll get to choose, and I probably won't like it as much as something I would choose. But for now, her fashion choice is my fashion choice (she told me she likes my style, so no worries)! While she's young and has no opinion on what to wear, I don't have to dress her in the most popular princess costume or the latest and greatest cartoon character. I can dress her in an adorable, one of a kind (maybe matching her father and I) costume. In the midst of looking for creative ideas, all I know is that I want her (I need her) to wear a big tutu as part of her outfit! And the bigger the better. I am originally from the south, so I need the dramatic effect. She'll only be able to get away wearing a gigantic tutu for so long!

If this is your first Halloween with your scrumptious little peanut, I know you want all the adoring looks for her! So, all of you moms out there who are wondering what to dress your cute mini me in that is creative and adds a little drama (good drama), here are my top picks.

Black Cat

A black kitten is always a great classic, but a tutu on your little kitty is such a sweet new take!

Giraffe

 Little ones around one year old love animals and learning new animal noises, so why not dress them as their favorite animal...and add a tutu! I can imagine that Hallen would love dressing as a giant Sophie or a cute puppy!

A superhero

It's so adorable seeing mini Spiderman and mini Batman arriving at my door with their padded costumes making these teeny little boys look like they had a couple protein shakes before they came. What would be cuter than a tutu-wearing accomplice?  It'd be a sight for sore eyes! Pick whatever superhero you loved as a child...and add a tutu!

Candy corn

Candy corn should be the national symbol for Halloween, in my humble opinion. That's the first thing that always pops into my mind! It's everywhere. If it's one of your Halloween addictions, this is definitely the costume for your little princess. It'll be the sweetest thing your neighbors will see all night (no pun intended)!

Cabbage Patch Doll hair from Yumbaby

You're right...there isn't a tutu on either of these sweet dolls pictured above, but what a great costume! A Cabbage Patch Doll is brilliant when you have a little girl. You don't have to spend too much money to make them look like too different since your princess already comes with her own soft cheeks and big eyes! 

Unicorn (Romper from Belle Threads)

And last but not least, a unicorn. Such a magical little costume. Imagination is key here. Some bright colors, some tulle, and something reminiscent of a horn on her head.

Our Stories...

God is good. I could say just those three words and this post would be wrapped up, but I really want you to know why He is so incredibly good. As you know, Kevin and I have dealt with infertility issues. It's a heart wrenching experience to go through and wouldn't wish it on anyone else. Here's the "funny" thing, though...other people do deal with this. Close friends deal with this. And I've been blessed to know people who have had children through years of going through miscarriages, infertility treatments, unexplained infertility, and so much more. They have miracle stories that are even more powerful than mine.

When Kevin and I were experiencing our lowest points through this journey, other women's stories helped me more than anything. I loved to read their stories of how their little nugget of gold finally did come! God was waiting, so His glory would be shown even more so than if that child came right away. (I'm not saying that if you do get pregnant right away that it's not just as much of a miracle. There are just different ways for God to show His glory and different scripts to write for His kingdom to grow).

Photos by Fatima

I want to introduce my friend, Leah at "Journey With Gabe." I would tell you all of her story, but she's already done a great job of that on her own blog. Please, please read her latest post on her little boy. Her miracle. Her little gold nugget. I cried (which doesn't take much) tears of pain and joy while reading it and just want to scoop her little boy up in my arms and hug him.

Zeke's Heart

It's another story that shows who our true Redeemer is and who we need to trust and keep trusting every second of every day. This story should give hope to those struggling with infertility and to mothers holding their children in their arms to celebrate life! Celebrate through the truly tough and trying times, whether that be looking at yet another negative pregnancy test or a bad medical report from your little one's pediatrician. 

I hope you enjoyed her story as much as I did.

#Twinsies for Father's Day

A couple days late in the game, yes, but I figured you could at least stick this in your pocket (or bookmarks tab) for next year or use it for a cute birthday idea.

I looked through lots of Etsy stores for matching father daughter bowties and bows. There wasn't anything that I could find! There were of course matching bowties for dads and sons, which are adorable, but not what I wanted. So, I started out on a DIY adventure...

I looked high and low for a tutorial on headbands and bowties for a daddy daughter matching day, but again there weren't any, so the next best thing was just to look at two tutorials separately. Come to find out, you make them the exact same way ( at last for the easier no sew option).

Bowtie on the left and headband on the right.

I could show you step by step on what I did to make both the headband and bowtie, but there are already so many great tutorials:

Here and Here

I attached elastic to both the bowtie and the headband, but I think a clip on the bowtie would actually be better. There is a smaller elastic on the bowtie, because it was going to be hidden under a collar and a fancier one for Hallen's headband.

Bowtie

Headband

They haven't officially worn their twinning accessories out yet, but they were kind enough to model how adorable they both looked for Kevin's first Father's Day.

I also bought them daddy daughter Pura Vida bracelets.  They have the most adorable baby bracelets! I ended up buying the new gray anchor bracelet for Kevin and "wish you were here" bracelet for Hallen. They don't match, but it's the thought :) )and Pura Vida bracelets provide jobs for people in Costa Rica). I wanted everything to be cutesy for his first Father's Day.

So, I hope this is a little inspiration for next year if you do have a little girl. She can still match her daddy. If you have boys as well, go ahead and make an extra bowtie!

The outtakes of a dad and his smallest main squeeze doing what they love most.