A Baby

After writing about our miscarriage story two weeks ago, I couldn't have felt more loved by our friends, family, and people I've never met. It's still crazy to me that social media can reach so many people. These past couple months, I've felt God's presence more than ever. And when I really think about life's difficult situations, I know that's why we go through them. To feel closeness with our Creator; to feel cared for; to learn more about his goodness.

Hardships in life, whether short term or long term, can either draw you nearer to Him or push you further for him. My prayer for all of my dear brothers and sisters in Christ out there is that it would cause you to embrace Him. Sure, you're allowed to yell and scream at first. I know that's my first reaction! I even questioned God several times. But, wipe away my first layer of natural human defense, and then all I want to do is curl up in God's arms and let him wipe away my tears. I'm still   SO learning how to relinquish a sense of control and anxiety in my life due to life's unfortunate situations, but as long as I'm living and breathing, I am gifted every new day to learn how to cope and dwell more in Him than the world's hopes and promises.

A verse that is helping me through these anxiety provoking, wanting to control everything situations right now, is a very well known verse.

" ...all the days ordained for me were written in your book

    before one of them came to be."

He knows my steps, my thoughts, when I'll be sad, my everyday trials, my future, and what's holding me back from living wholly in the days he ordained for me. He used our little baby to teach us how to love, why we need Him more than anything else, and that we need to cling to each other as a married couple rather than always looking to devices or TV shows... There are so many lessons to be learned with our miscarriage. We're still learning new things daily. And the funny thing is, that's what Jesus was too. He was a little baby when the world first came to know him. He used a baby to change lives. He used a baby to save lost souls. He used a baby to heal broken relationships. He used a baby to change the course of history. He used a baby. Our Jesus.